I was late for the youth leaders meeting. One young person had already arrived for ‘youth’, a 13-year-old boy who I had spent time with helping to address major bullying he was experiencing in his personal life. I quickly asked, “You okay?” In response he raised his eyebrows and smiled. I apologised for being in a hurry and informed him I would be out of my meeting in 10 minutes or so. After the meeting, I returned only to find him slumped over and melancholy. “You okay?” I asked with a greater degree of intentionality than before. “No” he answered. It transpired that in the brief time I had been in the meeting he had received news that one of his friends, a 13-year-old girl, had taken her life. I sat, listened and said very little. He concluded by saying, “we shouldn’t have to deal with this stuff.”

This wasn’t the first teen suicide, and I am sadly convinced it won’t be the last. We receive dozens of stories from our teams across the nation of teens who have ended their lives. One of my daughters has lost three friends (all teenagers) to suicide. That’s three funerals, three devastated families and three young people who are no longer here because they couldn’t cope.

I went home, and I prayed that God would break my heart and help me to do all I can to fight for a generation that is facing sizeable changes that no other generation before them can fully understand or identify with. If you are wondering what makes this generation unique then here is a snapshot:

  • This generation has never known life without the iPhone or iPad.
  • This generation spends on average nine hours a day in front of a screen.
  • This generation is far less likely to have experienced play as a child in the same way other generations have, meaning social interaction and the ability to understand risk and discovery is at deficit levels. In turn contributing to mental health issues in adolescence. 
  • This generation is more likely to have relational attachment challenges due to a crisis among parents having mobile phone addictions.
  • This generation is less likely to know their neighbours than previous generations.
  • This generation is afraid to hold an opinion in fear of being cancelled.
  • This generation does not have the level of confidence previous generations had due to the ​‘stay in doors’ mentality (gaming, digital engagement, and protective parenting keeps them behind closed doors).
  • This generation has a completely different relationship with porn through sexting and sexual images more readily accessible online through their digital devices.
  • This generation is more likely to self-harm in order to deal with the pain and uncertainty that they feel.
  • This generation is being told ​‘truth is what you make it’ and ​‘you do you’ meaning there is an increased lack of certainty and guidance available — the boundaries are unclear.
  • This generation has seen an explosion of mental health conditions from anxiety to attention deficit to OCD to bipolar disorder. It is not a greater awareness and labelling to an existing problem, but rapid growth in poor mental health for young people.
  • This generation has to wait on average two years to be given mental health support. In some cases, attempting suicide does not move the teen to priority status to be seen.

I have barely started… 

"This generation is more likely to self-harm in order to deal with the pain and uncertainty that they feel."

While all of the above is statistically true, it is a generalisation, obviously not all young people fit the above statements. However, I am sure you will agree, there is a problem.

While all young people matter, unchurched young people are often much lower down the priority list for the Christian community. Recently I heard a principal invited all the local churches to attend a meeting for a school in need of help, not a single church responded. 

Young people are also much less likely to see the church as the answer to their problems. Furthermore based on a piece of our own research which revealed that 200 churches (mainly evangelical) identified their greatest challenges regarding unchurched young people were:

  1. A lack of confidence in knowing how to engage
  2. No volunteers
  3. Limited resources

While International Youth Day/​Awareness will come and go, the challenges of young people and the lack of proximity to the church remains. Here is what I know, when the Christian community wants something enough, resources are reprioritised.

There are two important Bible verses that come to mind when I think about young people today, Luke 2:52, ​“Jesus grew in wisdom, stature and favour with God and man.” He grew in balance. Young people desperately need balance. The second verse is Romans 10:14, unless we tell them how will they know? It isn’t just about balance it is about balance with Jesus as the foundation that brings about real lasting change.

If you feel a little overwhelmed, you are in good company. If you don’t know where to start, may I humbly suggest you start by asking God to break your heart for today’s young people so that we can all do everything we can to fight for them.

Finally, Youth for Christ is here to help. We would love to send you free of charge a ​‘why unchurched young people matter’ pack. It is a diagnostic tool to help your church consider how best to respond. You can receive it at: yfc​.co​.uk/​j​oinus

Let’s change the narrative, the church can make a transformative difference to young people outside of its four walls.